Questioning Authority
by kratos's appreintice
Summary: Sometimes the worse gossipers don't even realize they're doing it. Looking for a playmate, four year old Lloyd wonders around Welgia, and winds up revealing his father's true thoughts of most of Cruxis, causing meyhem. Based on a toodlerhood experience.


Hi! I thought about this one day and just had to put it down on paper. This happens when Kratos actually finds Lloyd at the bottom of the cliff and they go to Welgia so Kratos can find Anna's soul and a way to bring her back to human form. Not to sure what inspired it, but I started talking about it to my friend and we couldn't stop laughing. She said she thought it was good and I hope you do to.Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:I do not own Tales of Symphonia, but some day I will buy it from Namco and have Japan(At least I think it's Japan) send over Tales of Symphonia 2 and shall release it.**

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Questioning Authority

A little 4-year old toddler walked around the halls of Welgia, looking for a playmate(in other words, most likely 'Uncle' Yuan) "I wonders why Daddy is always working alls the time?" he asked himself.

He walked down the corridor to where he thought he would meet his 'Uncle' Yuan, but instead he found..."What are you doing wondering the halls, child?" came the cold voice of Yggdrasill.

"I gotsted bored, so I askted Daddy if he woulds pway wif me, but he sayed he was busy, and he tolded me I could find Uncle Yuan and ast him if he wasd busy or not, and ifed he would pway wif me." Lloyd responded.

"I see." Yggdrasill said, walking past the toddler.

"Udragiciall, wait!" cried the boy.

"It's Yggdrasill. And what?" he asked.

"Tince yous is right here, would you pway wif me?" Lloyd asked, hopeful.

"No. I am far to busy." _Like I would ever 'play' with an inferior being._ He thought.

"Well, do you gots enough time to tell me what an evil bastard is?" the toddler asked.

"Why do you ask me?" the angel asked.

"Well, I fought you would know, 'cause Daddy saided you was one."Lloyd replied.

"WHAT?!" Yggdrasill then proceeded to say a bunch of words that I can't spell and some that are to graphic for the veiwing, let alone a 4-year old's ears.

At all the noise outside his office, Yuan came out."Lord Yggdrasill, what's wrong? Lloyd, what are you doing here?" Yuan asked.

Yggdrasill was to busy throwing a temper tantrum, so Lloyd answered for him."I fink he's mad 'cause he just found out he's an evil bastard, whatever that is."

Yuan couldn't help but chuckle as he ruffled the small boy's hair."But why are you here?" Yuan asked Lloyd.

"I wasd bored, so I asted Daddy if he would pway wif me, but he sayed he was busy and that I cowld see if you would pway wif me."Lloyd told him.

"I'm sorry, Lloyd. But I'm busy too.Maybe La...I mean Aunt Pronyma will play with you."Yuan told him.(Pronyma wasn't really Lloyd's aunt, that's just what Lloyd calls her cause Kratos doesn't like Pronyma enough for Lloyd to refer to her as a female lord, so he settled for aunt.The only Desian Grand Cardninal he did like was Forcystus.)

"Well, do you gots enough time to tell me whats a sissy-looking queer is"

Yuan frowned._Why is he using such language at this age?_Then, against his better judgement(A.N.\\Did you know that a synonym to judgement is opinion?So, when they cast the angel skill Judgement, wouldn't that be like going 'Sacred powers, cast your purifing light upon these corupt souls, Rest In Peace Sinners, OPINION!' Anyway, back to the story) "Why do you want to know?"

"Cause Daddy saided you wasd one."

Yuan proceeded in joining Yggdrasill in yelling and cursing. Then, as if on que, Pronyma came in."Whats wrong, my Lords?"

"I tink they're mad 'cause 'Drasill just founded out he was a evil bastard and Uncle Yuan just founded out he was a sissy-wooking queer" Lloyd said.

"How dare you talk about the Lords like that!" She seriously considered hitting him, but knew it would probably be the last thing she did, as Kratos would undoubtably kill her, if Yuan didn't first._How could he like that brat so much?_ She silently asked herself.(Um,lets see Pronyma:They traveled together for awhile, been together for 4,000 years, they've become so close they consider each other very close brothers, as in they care about each other, and Lloyd is Kratos' son. So, Hmm... Pronyma, I wonder)

"Aunt Pronyma?"

"(Sigh) What do you want?"

"Will you pway wif me?"

"No, I haven't the time." (I hope Pronyma isn't planning to make plans to make out with Yggdrasill)(EWWWW!)

"Well, could'cha tells me what a bitchy slut is?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Cause'd Daddy saided you was one."

Pronyma had an emotinial and nervous breakdown."One of my Lords...thinks ill of me?"she sobbed.So she started sobbing her heart out while Yggdrasill and Yuan were yelling and cursing.

Then Scarface(Scarface is Magnius' nickname) appeared. "Greetings, vermin!" he cried.

"Uncle Scarface! Whys do you always sayed 'vermin'?" Lloyd asked.

"I...I...dunno,I just...do.What's wrong with these vermin?"

"I don't know. I dos know that 'Drasill jus founded out he wasd a evil bastard, Uncle Yuan just founded out he was a sissy-wooking queer, and Aunt Pronyma jus founded out she was a bitchy slut.I don'ts know whats they mean, but its gots to be bad if they does this."

"Hahaha!What a bunch of pathetic vermin!"

"Daddy was right. You do use the word 'vermin' too much. I don'ts know 'bout the ofer part though."

"What was the other part."

"He saided you wasd a dumbass who needed to learn a new word 'sides 'vermin'."

Scarface then sat down, assumed a fetle position, and started sucking his thumb."Someone, doesn't like...how much I use... vermin?"

Then, because I'm running out of people to insult, Remiel appeared."Well if it isn't the conceding, overdramatic asshole." Lloyd said.

"Where did you come up with that?" Remiel asked.

"I didn't. I hearded Daddy say it."

"Why you little!"Then he looked over and saw what everyone was doing and joined Yuan and Yggdrasill.

Then Forcystus came in."Uncle Forcetus!" Lloyd cried. He ran over and hugged his leg.(Yes, Forcystus is good. Idunno why I choose him, I just did. If you don't like it, don't hurt me.)

"Hey Lloyd. Whats wrong with them?" Forcystus asked.

Lloyd proceeded to tell him everyone's 'new name'. If you're wondering why I didn't type this, it's because I didn't want to, so get over it, but don't kill me.

"You're silly, Lloyd." Forcystus said, rufflings Lloyd's hair.(Wow, a lot of people like to play with Lloyd's hair.)

"Am not. Daddy saided it, so it's twue."

"You beleive anything your dad says, don't you?"

"Yep! He says that Uncle Rodyle is a pychotic mad sceintist."

"And he's right!"

Lloyd and Forcystus turned around and saw Rodyle coming towards them."Rodyle, what are you doing here?"

"I'm a mad scientist. I'm looking for a research subject.What else would I be doing?"

"You sure seem happy about whats my Daddy saided about you. Look hows they reacted." Lloyd pointed at the others.

"Maybe I could use one of them as a research subject."I doubt they would appreciate that once they came out of their current state.

"You sure is a phyco mad scientist."

"Yes, and PROUD of IT! Now, I must g find a research subject!" He continued walking down the hall doing that pycho laugh that I have no idea how to spell.

"Why don'ts you gots a real arm? Shouldn't you gets a real one?"

"This arm has its advantages, as well as its disadvantages.."

"Like what?"

"Well, it can do this." Forcystus pointed his cannon arm towards the ceiling and fired. A giant hole was now in the ceiling and if Yggdrasill wasn't in the statw he was in, he would have murdered him.

"WOW! THATS SO COOL!But I still think Daddy is right. You should get a real arm."

"And he is. I should, but I'm not gonna."

"I hate Kvar."(I know, that came out of nowhere)

"Why?" they turned around and saw Kvar standing there. Lloyd started running towards him, jumped and started trying to beat the crap out of him.

"Cause you killed my mommy!" Lloyd's eyes welled up with tears. He continued hitting Kvar, everyone else to shocked to do anything. Let's check in on Kratos, shall we?

"For a city of angels, it sure is noisy. What would it take to get one quiet day around here."

Kratos got up. He had lost the concentration on his work because of the noise. He left the room to go investigate the noise._Most likely Yggdrasill is throwing a tempure tantrum,_he thought.When he got to the source of the noise, he found Yggdrasill throwing a fit, but a few things surprised him.

1)Yuan and Remiel were doing the same thing Yggdrasill was.

2)Magnius and Pronyma we're having an episode.

3)Lloyd was attempting to maime Kvar with his bare fist.

Kvar was ticked off, especially since Lloyd was saying a long string of words he shouldn't even know. He took out his spear-rod type thing and struck upward on Lloyd, sending him flying, screaming and crying in pain.

He hit the ground with a loud thud. Kvar knew this was a fatal mistake once he spotted Kratos. Yuan broke off from what he was doing to make sure he was okay. Once Kratos got there (which was about the same second) and was casting a variety of healing spells.

Yuan got up and blasted Kvar with his lightning magic.Then Kratos went up to Kvar, unsheathed his sword, and started slashing the hell out of Kvar. After a little while, "Uh,...Kratos?"Yuan asked.

"Can't talk, trying to kill Kvar." Kratos said, still slashing Kvar.

After another little while,"Kratos?"

"Quiet, I'm trying to kill Kvar." He was still slashing away at Kvar. Everyone else continued on with their lives.

Another while, "Kratos?"

"Leave me be, I'm killing Kvar." He continued to slash.

A longer while, "Krat-"

"Shut up, I'm killing Kvar." He was still slashing.

Another even longer while."Kra-"

"Shut up, I'm busy." still slashing at Kvar.

Another even more longer while."Kr-"

"Whatever you have to say can wait until after I kill Kvar.'' still slashin'.

Another even more extended longer while.(Man, I'm running out of adjetives)"K-"

"I said, whatever you have to saycan wait until after I kill Kvar." yep, still slashing.

Another even longer more extending longer while. Yuan opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off."I told you, whatever you have to say can wait until after I kill Kvar." yes, indeed, he is still slashing.

Another even longermore extending longer, longer while."Daddy?" he stopped slashing.

"Yes, Lloyd?"

"Kvars been dead for..." he looked at Yuan.

"4 days.'' he said.

"4 days." Lloyd finished.

"Oh.Why did nobody tell me?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you for the past 4 days." Also, everyone else was back.

"Why did you say I was an evil bastard?"

"Please tell me you really didn't say I was a sissy-looking queer."

"Why do you think I'm a bitchy slut?"

"Am I really a dumbass who says vermin too much?"

"I am not a conceiding, overdramatic asshole."

"Why are you throwing all of this at me?" Kratos asked, "I never said any of that."

"Well, according to that..._boy_(he had to refrain from saying 'inferior being' or he'd most likely end up like Kvar)yoou did."Yggdrasill said.

"He must have gotten you confused with the other people I was talking about." Kratos said.

"Oh, okay."everyone said and continued on with their lives.

Kratos looked down at Kvar."I hope you burn in hell."

"Yeah, me too!"

"You don't even know what hell is, Lloyd."

"So, you saided it. I's is just being like you."

Kratos sighed, picked Lloyd up and put him on his shoulders._I can't belive Lloyd loves me that much._ Kratos thought. Once he got to the room he set Lloyd down on the bed."Lloyd, listen to me. Don't repeat what Daddy says about people to anyone, especially not to that person."

"Okay!" Lloyd chirped.

"And I did not say Yuan was sissy-looking, I just said he looked a little queer with his hair that long the color it is pulled back."

"I still don't know whats those words mean."

Kratos sighed and proceeded to tell Lloyd what every thing he had said meant.

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I know, I jumped around a lot in the story.Reveiw, pwse? I just started fanfiction(this is my first oneshot) so pwse tell me what I can do to get better. Flames are welcome, for I need them to burn the homosexual faggots ass-I mean Yggdrasill's ass. But don't be to mean. (Throws cookies to all of those who will be nice to mild)


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